When I began to write this column “I’ve been thinking...” I thought of it as an informal way to share my latest thoughts with you - sometimes random, sometimes well thought out, and sometimes incomplete. But as is my style, they morphed into essays and took me away from a more spontaneous way of communicating. It also meant that I had to find enough time in my schedule to think and write, something that doesn’t happen often. So, I’m going to try to reboot and share my sometimes random and sometimes timely thoughts with you.

This week, perhaps because I’m excited that the kids are able to get vaccinated, hopefully making it easier to be together, and perhaps because I absolutely love our new sanctuary set up, I’ve been thinking about experiencing a minyan. I’m not thinking of minyan as the minimum of ten adult Jews needed to have a full service, but as a vibrant, inspiring, boisterous, alive, and participatory communal prayer experience. This does not describe the minyan of my youth, which felt stodgy and formal. The one hour we prayed on Friday night felt more like a performance than a time for the community to gather together and cry out in prayer and song and laughter and sorrow. No, the minyan I crave happens when the room feels full (even though physically it may not be), and the sounds of song and chatter and of individual prayer rising and falling through the congregation, compel the daveners (pray-ers) and the prayer leader (shaliah tzibbur) to continue. Now I understand that I am, and have always been, somewhat unique in my love of prayer. For me, it is the very heart of my Jewish life. I thrive on the singing and the companionship of the congregation. I love the opportunity to communicate with the Divine in ways similar to Jews all over the world.  Prayer is an act that transcends time and space.  I’m sure you’ve had similar experiences - perhaps at the High Holidays, or at a b’ mitzvah. There is a kind energy, both human and Divine, that envelops the room.

Those of you who have been at services at the very beginning on a weekday or Saturday morning know that my favorite ‘prayer’ is the conversation with God and with myself, on page 105 and 106 of Siddur Lev Shalem. There, the composer asks us to ponder the deepest of questions: “What are we? What is our life? Our goodness? Our righteousness? Our achievement? Our power? Our victories?” Every day, early in the service and early in our conversation (which is one way I understand prayer), we essentially ask why are we here, what is our life’s purpose, and what can I offer to the world today?’ Lately, I have been thinking about these questions, in the context of the synagogue and Jewish practice, rather than my own personal meaning. I find myself arguing back and forth about the purpose of Synagogue, our Jewish practice, and its meaning for contemporary Maine Jews.

I have had so many wonderful conversations with new members and long time members over these past months. People are interested in sending their children to KBE, are interested in meeting fellow members, are interested in particular topics, or simply interested in joining a shul in order to be part of a community. Several people have contacted me because they are interested in becoming Jewish. Very few - at least in our conversations - ask about our services. I say this without judgment; as I said before, I find davening compelling and many do not. That is not to say that people don’t pray, or that people don’t communicate with the Divine, or that people don’t ‘believe in’ Jewish communal prayer; but to be honest, in the scheme of life, for many services are not fulfilling. 

I understand those who feel that prayer is a little boring, or long, or not as interesting as other things going on. I also understand that “religious feeling” when out in nature, or being with friends, or just having a lazy day where you don’t get out of your PJs until noon!  These activities and more may be more inspiring and meaningful, especially when the minyan is small and quiet and performative.  So I return to my thoughts about the purpose and essence of a synagogue. To come back to Siddur Lev Shalem, “What are we? What is our life? Our righteousness? Our achievement?” I ask myself, what is unique about a synagogue? Why are we here?  What can we offer the world today? Since I’ve been focusing on prayer, it seems to me that a synagogue’s uniqueness lies, in part, in their style of minyan, of communal prayer. Like a JCC, we are also a social center, a place where people can gather to “do Jewish” together, and a place of learning. Unlike a JCC, whose members come from all corners of Jewish life - from synagogue goers to those who never attend, all synagogues must have a prayer community, a Minyan; and without it, I’m not sure it is a synagogue.

I have always aspired to provide the kind of services that have elevated my soul over the years.  My vision is a prayer community with a critical mass (maybe 50?) of diverse people. Young and old, Jewish and not Jewish, fluent and not fluent with the service, questioning or certain, families of all configurations; it is a group whose voices and spirit, whose longings, losses, and celebrations are shared. A group that cares for one another, and who notices if someone isn’t there; who watches it’s kids grow up and welcomes them back when they’re home. The minyan should be a safe and a vibrant space where we look forward to seeing one another each week or each holiday.  It is our only chance to schmooze with ourselves, with each other, and with God. The services in which I participated later in life were lively, friendly, and inspiring. There have been plenty of times I have felt it here, at TBE.  I wish you would come and allow yourself to get swept up in the inspiration

P.S. Mazal tov to all the 5-11 year olds who are getting vaccinated! You’re more than welcome to join us!!!